Employment & Labor Insider

But this is not a perfect world.

We all know that sexual harassment includes unwelcome sexual advances, which can be explicit or relatively “classy” (“Hey, you want to come over to my place tonight? I have a reproduction of Van Gogh's The Starry Night hanging over my king-size water bed that will drive you wild.”        *wink wink*).

Also, statements to the effect that people of one sex are inferior to people of the other sex are considered both discriminatory and possibly sexually harassing. (“Women are too emotional for this job,” or “All men are scum.”)

But you already knew that, so I'm blogging today about something different.

I want to talk about insults that are sex-specific and vulgar but not in context. Since this is a family blog, I’ll use asterisks to keep it as clean as possible.

For example, let’s say a male co-worker is a complete jerk, and you tell him to stop being such a “d***.”

That is a gender-specific and sexually explicit term. But are you sexually harassing him? In my personal opinion, no. To me, it is not any more sexist than referring to him as a "he."

Or, let’s say a female co-worker is a jerk, and you tell her to stop being such a “b***h.” Or, worse, such a “c***.”

Are you sexually harassing her, or discriminating against her because she is a female?

Again, in my personal opinion, no. For the same reason.

Vulgar, inappropriate, and rude, yes. Discriminatory or harassing, not in my personal opinion.

Why does she keep saying that?

Oh, and here’s another example. What if you believe a co-worker of either sex is being a wimp, and you refer to him or her as a “p***y”? The word itself is female-specific and vulgar for sure, but in this example you are not using the word in the sexual sense. In context it can apply to anyone, male or female, and has no sexual connotations.

So, now you know my personal opinion. Which isn’t worth a darn. Because the courts haven’t asked for my opinion, and they don’t necessarily agree with me.

In one recent decision from a three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit, summary judgment for the employer was reversed, in part because the female plaintiff had evidence that she was called a “b***h” and a “c***” by a male colleague. (There was a lot more than that going on in this case.) The court’s decision means a jury will have to decide whether the plaintiff was discriminated against or harassed because of her sex.

And in an even more recent decision, a federal court in Arkansas granted summary judgment to the employer where a female co-worker other than the plaintiff was allegedly referred to as a “b***h” and a “c***.” Although the employer won, the court implied that the outcome might have been different if the plaintiff herself had been referred to that way.

"Always be sure your bad words are gender-neutral, children."

If you must cuss . . . 

Although I think it’s a stretch to characterize this type of language used in these contexts as “discriminatory” or “harassing,” please understand that I’m not defending it, either. I don’t think people ought to be cussing out their co-workers or using sexually explicit language at work (unless "job-related and consistent with business necessity"). That goes quadruple for anyone in management. If an employee is getting your goat, it’s better to leave, or stay but count to 100 before responding, or try to civilly talk it through with the employee, or – if it’s really bad – to perhaps get your supervisor or Human Resources involved.

Or, if you are a supervisor whose goat has been gotten by an employee who reports to you, to consider taking disciplinary action.

But if you absolutely must cuss at or about a co-worker, try your best to keep it gender-neutral and non-vulgar. “Hell” and “damn” are usually fine within reason. "Heck" and "darn" are even better.

See? I didn’t need to use asterisks with those.

But if someone is being a real pain and you can't help yourself, you are better off calling them a “pain in the a**” or equivalent, rather than the sex-specific vulgarities mentioned above. Anybody can be a pain in the rear, regardless of race, national origin, color, religion, age, or sex, or other legally protected category.

Another tip: Don’t single out members of one sex or the other for your vulgarities. If you do (for example, you refer to a jerky guy as a “jerk” while referring to a jerky woman as a “c***”), you are that much more likely to be accused of sex discrimination, or even sexual harassment.

The things we learn on this blog!